Try me

Softer than sky this pulse became
What you and I had once forgotten ad never held.
Our thoughts turned to that horizon flooded
Overcome by all we learned and always felt
I saw you leave it toward death itself though
we've known it for a while.
As we meet here in this knowing place, can you trust me to know your mind?
Do we believe angels will know us better when we love?
And take nothing for granted? Do our eyes hide our fear and joy?
Do we show our caring and dreams?
as mothers and fathers before us held our infant sweetness, so too in death we bear you
as song's melodic beaut.
We bear you mild and kind toward the kingdom of the king's thrown,
to the priestess' love.
The chambers of the deep have whispered our names as we answer them.
Returning all peace to the dominion of the truth.
can you feel my comfort in your shine?
As I mirror your human faith, as understanding lifts
us ever knowingly?
Thunder has given us rain, and sun, our living keepsakes and
love ones that with us come.
Meet me as the dawn grieves night,
as spring mellows our memories of it.
Unity in me conquers your thoughts of dark separation,
as we turn your eyes gently toward the other side,
invisible yet known.
Tender sanctuary of soul voice.
The one offering that holds us to you,
real and true in free choice.
As brother to screed worldly gifts, enter with me unified,
being-ness quenching thirst of spirit,
and essence transcending, conscious will,
to be your portal promenade.

Leave me alone with God

Lift me from this fallen sky
Broken hearted
Ashes of these burnt fires
My eyes still see it as they did
When I was a child- why dont people believe it is possible??
God's true gift in me to see what few others do.
I am told not to see it by my world, these everyday practices dont want it.

An old one from an email to a friend Feb 2009

Seems Im always stuck on something, the name and person changes. Why do I crave? choose lovers that are impossible? I kick myself in the ass.

Of the wayside Heart

The burrow of air does not resemble,
That I know.
Palpating pebbly blind paths ambles
Folding mist.
Into tucked arms and wraps by the
Sunless sighs.
Comfortable without you kindly
Who I never
Had in parish streets tended by cobble
Thick wine and breath.
What are we?
Shaping one another endlessly
Formless destination.
Subdued penalty of deep desire
Not gormless charity.
Societal embalmer of emotion past
The road behind.
Mind evolving trumpeted triumphant
Do with or without.
Beyond petty reasons of wanting this
The bend beckons me
To dream of what is beyond its curve
Stand nevermore.
Neither wait nor be waited for evermore
Fisher nor bait.
You will never know how much I
Haunt you with
panic, desire, rejection, and embrace you
Never and again

Thou shalt not

Thou shalt not tread on
The tears of others
Nor bear weapons of hatred
Thou shalt not take that
which is not given
Nor carry false notice
Thou shalt not create
Fear in another
Nor harm those who believe
Thou shalt not gain
From another's suffering
Nor speak against innocence
Thou shalt not spoil drink
With poisoned wishes
Nor take bread from broken hands
Thou shalt not take abode
In darkened places of power
Nor pelt the weak with dominion
Thou shalt not own vanity
Front of eager mirrors
Nor celebrate bloodshed
Thou shalt not deny love's
Desire of becoming
Nor pause to doubt it.

Day I drink you in
Every fluttering wing
All clouds moving
Leaves blowing hereby
Your creatures breath
Your windy willows
Your air meandering
Day you give to me
Heartbeats on the hill
Patterns in voices
Roses sleeping deep
Curves of hawks circle
Rich dormant soil
Savors touching tongue
Laughter to embrace
Tears to touch
Peace within
Strength without
as you become my night.

Wretched reeds
Toads tripping
me up
Why all this
Knee deep
Sloppy mud
Im all snagged
In brambles
One more time
Just feels
Unbearably long
All this sweet
Air doesnt
Suit my humor
At all
Grumpy as fog
Grumbly as dog
Fish and muster
Up one more
Chance to say
Sorry I just
Cant
Not today
Im just foul,
And I dont
mean "bird"
Yeah I know
Today makes
Tomorrow better
but for now
Ill keep
on stinking.

My goodbye poem to you,

Serenity crested arching over me
Like those crystal clear waterfalls
And swirling deep colored pools
Bringing the bearer of light quietly
Through the chasms of older days
Where the mighty shine eyes ere foot fall.
Each heart beating together as token
To bearings of calm and love renewed
To every calling inward knowing whisper
The hand turns willingly to deed anointed
Into the rose bosom unfurled as dawn sky
Uniting in mans' earthly touch and tread
Threads binding echoes of divinity exposed
To the journey purposefully given unto him
Though striving blood reaches high
To seek nature beyond lucid folding image
Clasped attention to unseen paths
Two that become one before all greatness
Holding a universal awe respectfully near
Each ray traveled toward sun and back
Unanimously stars decide fortunate men
and the listener still as dew notices
Infinite detail in their ever bearing beauty.

Ale Maria Jheri

Was there a part of that desert sky
Where I perpetrated as thief comfort
Did I entrust my autonomy to the clouds
Did I clasp and clutch them disregarding
Open eyes that saw me too clearly mad
The crazy wind is my horse mustang
And that thunder does not pause for morning
Did I love that dust without collateral
My senses desiring black wingless night
Did you see that angel on the glim horizon
As I passed?
It knew the despair and grief of all mankind
It knew the sorrow you posted on the gate to
My empty house where I live no longer haunted
Reckless heart of mine beating all paths blindly
To forgive the one,
to wash my curse
In the name of the spirit
In the name of justice
In the name of freedom
In the name of the father
in the name of the son.
Did I kill the hawk that circled and wanted me
Did I entrust myself to the wrong idols in this temple
Was I king to the vagrant dualism of dark earth
Was I this being without light nor guided reason
How now on bare feet in running ground cracked
This expanse of spell binding silence on and on
Across the same sand meeting the un reachable destiny line
Heart beats blinding me from the sun I hide apart
This one dance I cheat you for as I escape all binds
Between deserving and undeserving understanding
I watch this dawn become my breathing
I listen as my hearing becomes the wind
I feel as this song becomes my heart
Inseparable to any man, any love, any wish.
Is this my dream awakening as sodder in my mouth
Wanting rain to wash my quiet mouth loose of words.
Stuck in veins back and forth those birds fly me high.
This desert safe is mine mended and tailored to suit
Able to ignore my tears and see me not as I bleed spirit
Song unto the folds of natures hidden place
Carrying me home to its soul call bidding me to hold
It faithful as the true believer I follow it down
Was it because I was Holding its hand
Was it because the sun was shining on someone else's day
was it fraudulent to call you this my, this my love.
There is peace spilling over the lie, a garment in folds of air
There is tenderness foolishly childlike and barren
Step over me, come to me, meet me down,
Ill cry mercy in all the right places as you carry me in

Press Play while reading the post below

Universal Man

Blood to blood I know you all powerful
My power against all your wrong doing
My distance in you is unforgiving all seed
My father is in me and who I am
You cannot separate my sex, it is my given
And yet I am man as you are woman.
I want to abuse your power as you have
Abused mine, but choosing no blood shed
Love flows into the roadside grates
As I watch you World unfold into deepest turmoil
Belonging to each other with killing hearts
My thousand years, my sword and shield, my hard hand
Dry unto the falling hatred of black skies above.
Cold to the dawn of murder you bring me as offering
I feel the power of the millennia coursing my veins
For your pleasure- you think the red morning pleases?
Ignorance
Beaten warrior.
My vengeance is my peace,
May it foil your wicked thoughts.
Taking not of my body
Nor my womans' softness.
Bearing my breast ever wrongful to your King.
For he dies in my arms, Ive seen him too many times
Hide behind the walls of his gift of exuberant torture.
As he continues to rape and pillage my native soil.
Bombarding all boundaries of earth so blindly.
Dont expect me to treat you soft, for you lie.
Showing me your cruel skin to be thief of a womans warmth.
Venom in my womb as it is kissed wanting you.
Wash the blood from me, wash the world clean,
Born again within the origin of true justice.
Fool me never again.
This my son, my brother, my father, my lover.
Fearlessly I stand before you painless and strong.
Though I die by your hand it is my true liberty
Which caries me beyond you evermore freely fallen
Witness to the sacred vow of unity forever blessed.

Grey

And lifting all burdens of sorrow
Flight comes willingly alighting
On a window near the center woods
Blossomed and raptured in fragrance
Billowed clouds rush entwined in blue
Warmth by your eye freely flowing
River's song to to quiet sea bird
Nesting white lines foaming dancer
Willingly running rays setting sun
Beams through skin touching as
Far as hills of willow and birch
Tears shedding light wandering
Footfalls to carry night into
Arms gracefully covered in dew
Drops upon knees in sweet prayer
Towers hover God's name engraved
Upon budding cheeks and lips
whisper deeply secret beauty pausing
Quietly as becoming clear to rain
Suddenly on earth;s wanting mouth
Blissfully caught and held, on
and on
and on
and on.

As one we are
My God and I.
With this inside me
Nothing else compares.
No, church in beauty.
No, poverty stricken street.
No, tears of loss.
No, child's smile

Follow me as
I follow you.
Conquered as fear
Dispelled by love,
No, my heart in truth
No, your one word
No, bliss of faith
NO, moor of unity

Your gift to me
Is the one I
Give to you peace
Stronger than dreams
Never to be alone
No, beside you borne
No, in your arms
No, tender and tall
No, drinking aromatic

Spellbound fortune
My star of fate
Dear one my gratitude
And sweet consternation
Always yours will be
No, simple and bare
No, tearful and warm
No, mild and won
No, my heart says to you,
Dear love.

God gave me thunder
Right here in my flesh
Morsel of sky entwined.
The tradition
of my love
till
my death
within me
Breathes forever as
anchor upon ship's
deck

All of our plunder
caught in song's mesh
Of a promise combined
The expedition
of my dove
till
my death
Passion forever as
anchor upon ship's
deck

Through the blade and golden sheen
Its tiny bodily figure waded dusty brown
Unearthing tyrany's clay cracked clothes
Spade and shovel as man hole dug deeply.
Between expantion and contraction again
Spat gritty mouthfulls downward to the
Closed grave inside its busted womb.
It carried that grief across a thousand hills
Where your death evaporated like skin.
Down slender passes craggy cliffed skies
Lining its eyes with subtile relief coming
Thin veils in the inner atoms memory core.
Seed encrustings wanting pardon on laden
Lip to song the beloved expanse it left.

I wish I could fly
die in your open arms
I wish I could cry
and be free of the fall
I wish I could feel
rid myself of power.
But cannot as it were
Gained rightiously.
I have no claim to
closing divination.
Im already lost
in your metropolis
Its ancient future
haunting my heart
Towering above me
Structural complexity
And I feel you now
As I remember you
How is it that I know
You belong to it?
A time irrecognizable
To my logical mind.
But I saw you there.
How is it that I was
There and know you?
Familiar to required
Strength and alertness.
Visions surrounding
the temples palisades
Why do I know you
in that metropolis?
Why do I know what
It feels like to make
Love to you now as
I did to you then?
Why do I stand so solid
by your side as you
stand by mine?

A river of wordless kisses Un rio de besos sin palabra
Flowed the depths. Corrian lo profundo
The silence of those words El silencio de estas palabras
broke the dawn rompierion al amanecer
Passing tenderness over my Pasando ternura sobre mi
body bound wish Cuerpo deseo amarado
Believing every sparkle Creendo cada brillo
and surface scar y cicatriz superficial
Seeping the aortas pulse Entrando al pulso de aorta
red lip love rojo labio amar
The clock too narrow to Reloj demacido angosta para
hold me asleep mantenerme dormida
Drinking deep flooded day Bebiendo profundamente el dia inundada
like new lust como deseo nuevo
A river of kisses wordlessly Un rio de besos sin palabras
spoken. habladas.

My lovely Adam

The wicked and the divinity
of this generation divided
Flux trembler in the memory of saints and the
Idiots that we were
to believe in a world of gracious nature
My posture erected the posts of time
between rubble of a generous man hunt for goodness
Who would believe the triumph glistening
on our broadened shoulders
Turning from confused boys into temperate men
from half witted pretty girls into esteemed women
I look around at you all
knowing the rock beneath me
is the same as yours.
All that shale and wicker baskets that held nothing
but a glimpse of truth
But we knew it then as we know it now,
face to face there is no doubt.
You are the length of my philosophy
My garden of Eden exposed
My lovely Adam.

To become your faithful
devoted whisper;
Barren to history
rooted in dry tear-less
disguise,
Of natures' narrative
driven by inquisitive mouths.
Sullen groves of sun kissed
shade
tumble anew
toward the grief and
forgiveness of men;
as others before us beheld
holy divinity,
as a mother's bosom and womb
held the ancestral
Throne of tiny birthed glinting
stars which
Dashed the brief horizon
rushing breathless
Night amid dark pondering
dusty streets
greeted those of beloved
honest righteousnesses.
Breath simply bereaving
and loving both
the dead and living in
all instance.

A complaint is
a personal discomfort
therefore it is also
key to listen to yourself
when you have a complaint
for it is yourself
My complaint
has taught me
that it is my voice
speaking, and though
it says my complaint
may be about you
My complaint is my
self complaint.
Discomfort within me>
I realized after my last
complaint
Just how much I truly appriciate
knowing what inside me drives
motive to complaint
and therefor
I need only recognize it
listen inwardly and take
it for what it is
Neither binding you nor I to it.

Im always outside
Outside your love
My heart drenched
In rain of sorrow
Unable to manifest
Something better
A world divided
Before my cry
You reflect the
world and the
world reflects you
In me separated
the one I'll never have
though I pour myself
my heart is broken.
Though I stood tall
Before you was I
Always to be broken?
I who never was
shape myself bleakness
I only want your love.
Hide me beneath
Hide me in truth
Dont let me fall
dear fulfilled world
as I know you I will cry.
I know it will come
to my door, but not you.
That someday no tears
Will wet my arms.
I stand outside.
In all weather.
Would someone
give me shelter?
There is but one
who hears my suffering.
Myself God
Will I someday be free
of it myself?
And mean while
I cant let you
know these my
private words.

Free

Free to bear happiness
that inside me may grow
loving kindred spirit.
Torn away, my habbit friend,
who like drunkard wined
with me I know intoxication
Though I wished it joyful.
Still if once before
I may not settle nor ignore
that I saw nor that which is.
The road has but one way
I can take and speak
of it no more.

Stay with me a while

You have come to me a few times in the past like an apparition of truth
when I most needed your love,
but not until today did I see you so clearly, nor want you to stay with me
so much as I do today.
I know you are a part of my mind
that I may never meet you in the flesh,
except within myself
and I can reason you within me,
that you are here to make it bearable for me
that I cannot share the real reason of my troubled heart to that
which I relate it to.
You are all that I love
Your age and quiet knowing nature of seeing me for who I am.
Experience of life rich with astute caring
A clear and passionate compassionate heart and mind
Hands that tend weaknesses and non judgemental ism
far from your soft eyes and heart
a Socrates in your own right decided toward the
raw essence of those who live poverty and its gifts.
You are my one love
please stay with me,
my one friend, show me your wanting of me
Patented in my heart, filling my body and my want of you.
Keep me company, even though you being here makes tears
slip easily.
Now I know your face so well... having made love to you,
having had your company the comforting place of self
I feel with you
Against all odds of reality you are my one love,
Part of me I fear no other lover no other man will ever know.
For I loose myself
For I bargain for love
For I anger for closeness
searching in obscurity,
catching myself in the nets I throw,
and fall into bereavement
of my loss
of my heavy short comings
of my want to be alone with you
My imagination
my friend
You are my one cause
you are my people, my earth
my truth, and will do my best to do you right.
You are me
Please stay with me tonight so I can
love you as I see you
So I can be loved as you see me,
imperfect and lovely,
someone maybe only few others
will truly know and love, love like we do.
You found me.
with all my being.
I want to hold you in my company
and shed a thousand tears,
till love turns to sleep,
and sleep, to tomorrow
and tomorrow love you again.
If I need you , may I ask you to
stay again with me tomorrow?
And in asking I know your love
and in answer you hold me still.
And we are but one.

If my thoughts were a tree
Sunken shallow in your earth
Would the sky still be above me?

If goodbyes were a station
No regrets and no going back
would this ticket in my hand show?

If my heart were the ocean
One in a million planetary wishes
would time erode my dream?

little Buddha fondled my heart with sunshine
Love and Peace to you all

Nobody's business

Besotted by impish stupidity
of sultry feminine quality.
Sputtering useless guile,
gnawing on bits of
purposelessness;
Of turmoil caked on surfaces
present,yet
only trite and vacant.
Of coal black thought,
of hopeless chatter at
nothingness,

Enchanted by uneducated guesses
of a garbled rich, dense
perfume of the futile muse.
Damned would be too strong,
perhaps volatile
perhaps obliterated
perhaps smashed upon a shore
where your feet don't sink in.

Exiled by the own inner sense,
of ought and naught colliding.
Of sinking stink contrived
into heart beats
heavy feet
sweetness like a burn
and a question shot to heaven.
The pantry of a godless answer
of a naughty promenade lacking justice
of a suitor dressed in
jaded wishes
presuming
persuasion
exasperated by the elegant
desire perspired on stone.

Wooed gloomy by self as woman
chided nastiness as glass on
a split floor
close to a word like love.
Take an ax
chop up the knowledge
chew it, spit it, burn in to ash
make a tint
use it for ink on the tatty
tattoo.
Licking chuffed lips
at the indecent scent of diligence
of illiterate options
of jagged skin
of vacant possibilities.

A womb divided in many parts
the innards of inhospitable existence
assessment battle ship and glory
missing
Not much between nose and toes
they said about it
political correctness take
the bazooka 49 and hit the high road
lickedy split,
don't get caught without a thank you
for the back stab on the way out.

Who said it for innocence?
Did it gain acclaim?
Did it foster prosperity??
Did it conquer all that it possessed?
Somehow doubt would be the guesser.
Rigged up like buttercups and honey bees on
fossil fuel.
Wouldn't it be the embarrassed
to get nicked of a dime.
Wouldn't the lime light be just as
audacious?
Disputable?
Exonerated?
Phantasmal in an unknown dictionary beside
god itself.

Well...there is no ship like a sinking one.
No building like a falling one.
No person like a dying one.
This among the tycoons crib-less child.
Harboring no necessity to abolish
tree bashing
whale eating
spirit devil need.

Good Maud in her burnt apron
good Maud in her best bloody frock
watches pieces enter into un-named
places.
Of no return
looking back ass-ward at nature's
phantasmal point of orgasm
What did she know about
Bones and soil?
What did she know about
smoke and sky?
About wind and shrapnel?
Mother's milk and stale cookies.

Humor as thick as dried whiskey,
3 teaspoons of moral hangover,
four bruises,
eight stitches upper brow,
Cant sweep it under the carpet.
You'd be the looser in a circle
of competitive idiocy to do so.
Granted the ghost offers its wish,
a white flag
could
perhaps
unfurl.
Neither- nor
think again
Boom.

Submerged in the diversity of insanity
Close to the brink of knowing what
and who holds the key to the plausible
Witness.

On the banks of the river flowing,
Watching the trickle and flow go by
above the bottoms, where slow rocks
and greened living things only pause.
Too fast to see a reflection on the surface.
Shallow enough to wet easily the floor of
both hand and broken shale bed.
The day, not bright nor gloomy, somewhere betwixt.
Neither cold nor warmth, but that
comfortable soft of a morning after
Making love
or a late spring evening at a cafe.
Hair slightly blowing.
Not wanting to go back.
wanting to just be here, until darkness
hides the hills beyond.
Or crushes all the somber thoughts out
Entirely.
Maybe it would take days-
Days that aren't available.
Days taken up with the usual
Mundane but thankful coffee routine
Days at the gas pump, paying ten bucks
for the days movements here and there.
Days dreaming of reaching those
Goals, of doing those things
that get put off into some
Kind of desire box
that nobody gave you the key to open.
And in all those mundane yet bearable days
In all those wise books, where interesting
and deep, and successful people
Tell you...
where to find that key, does the flavor
of the ritual change from this AM
to this PM?
Not wanting to go back, but staying instead
Staying like it was, when sitting for
Hours under the stars with a best
Friend, or lying on backs to watch
Clouds pass.
It wasnt really vagabond-ness, rather the
Acceptance that time still didnt exist.
That passion was allowed to be free.
That the body held its own, even when
you destroyed it too frequently.
But more than that...
watching the water pass by,
I think I want to stay just here.



For my kid at bedtime:
If heaven were my best friend
and angels were like butterflies
and mountains were like ladders,
Id climb into your skies.
If orchids were like lollipops,
Id fly from tree to tree
there'd be plenty of honey
All for you and me.
Id climb into your skies

You the taste inside me
you the bliss of knowing tomorrow
you the kindness of words
you the gesture of grace
deep beyond what we dreamed
fathom hours
fathom our bodies
fathom spirit in the richest sense
love is the taste
even though you test me
even though you try to brush me aside
even though you taunt me to
say goodbye

അറ്റ്‌ ദി സെയിം time

Comfortable pain
At the same time
Numb happiness
at the same time.
curse nor glory
at the same time
Dull wickedness
at the same time
tender fault
at the same time
daydreamer haunt
at the same time
anger-less gentile
at the same time
delight-less empty
at the same time
soaring bearer
at the same time
news after news
at the same time
thoughts drowned
at the same time

ബോത്ത്‌

Being becomes;
loosing you.
No way back,
I still want.
Disheartened,
Still no voice.
Crumbled wishes,
back to self.
Only quiet,
snow quiet,earth quiet, night quiet.
Sad tongue taste.
Slow mile,
too fast.
Heart beat,
no feet.
Breathing elephant skin,
ache inside.
Solemnity,
secret wish.
Nevermore and always.

(JT)