Cry

I turn in upon myself
Into the landscapes where I
Can dream- of things no one
Will ever see
I walk along the paths
That know me,
Stepping over the bridges I built
Washing my face in the rivers I cried
Beginning in the mountains
I ride the streams
down to the wide river's current
without vestiments
I set fire to the night
patting embers of my past
and wait till morning light
Lets me wander on
I see the hills now, sliding as I pass
I watch as the dawn floods my veins
And with no resistance
I let it into my pulse
the tender rocks
smoothly scattered among my fingers
the wet grass holding my spine against the earth
The ease of living
Where my heart rests
It cries not in pain
for all that has passed
It cries not for what may not be
It cries beacuse it knows,
that only it can give it what it
wants most
desires most
I remember making love to you
Young in our bodies,
The little pretty hotel room
Painted blue
Your perfect skin
touching me in the light
I touch that lost young love.
I cry for that lost young love.

E mail to a friend

Oh...........here is a good one-
So we decide to stop in at Dunkin D ( a maybe if you are lucky, two times a year thing, 'cause we are pretty organic food-ers 98%) with the kids after a adult art topic kind of meeting on Saturday aternoon-
So, we walk in- 2 people at 2 registers- White guy not doing such a great job- mixes up order for lady infront of me numereous times, till the girl 3 making the order cant stand to hear the poor girl ordering say it again, and shoots in loudly
"I got it I got it"
" She's got it" says the cashier to the girl ahead of us.
The other person at the 2nd register is a
Black girl- available- standing beside cashier dude one, but totally passive, doesnt attend me, stands there for the entire order of person in front of us( me and kids) slightly in front of the available register, but body angled toward the guy, like she was just hanging out waiting till he finished - I think- humm look at that, that is odd, okay- never assume anything- maybe there is a reason, maybe he's training, and she is guiding, maybe its cause I'm an out of town-er, maybe Im too white, mabye Im not local or something. He seemed to be doing well enough with the machine , just couldnt get the order straight,so I couldnt figure it out, She 'could' take me...anyway, I just wait- see what happens..humpty pum, I take a breath.
Sofie ( my kid) says " Buy 6 get 6 free" or something like that, is the offer
"Really " I say in incredulous disbelief. Hell I dont want 12 doughnuts for 3 kids, blach. Our turn,'
"Hi, can I have 6 Boston Cremes please?" adding the "I dont want the other 6"
Guy at the regiter says
" You dont want the other 6?"
" No" I say looking at the girl, (the passive register girl now with gloves on and serving out the doughnuts as he attends the till), I say,
" Make you feel sick" she totally agrees. But then I say
" Do you want them?" to the guy at the register, he kind of tilts his chin back, and I move on- The girl- yuck says her face like saying 'makes me sick too', so I immediately swing around and ask the blond lady behind me
" Do you want my other 6 ?" a man behind her looks interested,
" You?" I say. She steps closer
"yeah Ill take them, got 7 kids at home, and one over t' visit" The guy at the register says
" Your gonna give em to my folks!!!" with a funny who's the winner kind of awkward, proud, 'go figure smile.
Yeah, phew pawned them off on someone who actually has a use of them( and my kids wont have a belly ache-sugar hype (as massively anyhow)) . Kind of uncomfy wanting to dissapear into invisibility with all eyes on us, till we actually get cashed out, ok transactions done, our box to us, napkins in hand Do I leave a tip? I ask myself, and answering myself, no, there was no service I guess. A small head nodding
" Thank you mam" as we pass by the happy winner of an extra 6 doughnuts.
" Thank You " I say, with a 'hey your doing me the favor' tone , without even making eye contact, wanting to get the 'h' out of there asap.
My thing about the back girl not serving me, even though her register seemed available, clicking with her in the 'Yuck' doughnuts thing, the wierdness of offers,spending, gifting, and watching the kids lick thier chocolate sticky fingers,and slowly uncovering the smooth creamy center with total precautions as not to let a single blob drop to the muddy mini van spring mud seasoned floor, with no hope of retrieval with a single slip of the fingers carefully holding them, it all seem just funny as I hit the stop light and hung a left onto rte 66.

A glimpse

Calloused in reproach, why it didn’t make its way to the center of the universe I don’t know.
I believed in our love to the penny picking inch of every leaf on every branch of our garden
Bathed in tears -two years of not having seen you-
this thing where I can virtually talk to you, I see you cry too
Balls of forgiveness pound on me like rain
Torrential in the tropical hills where we stood
Holding one another in binds that drift beyond
Hallucinations and the drugs we knew
Killing others
Beyond the drifting whine of our babies at dark times
Huddled in blankets our hearts only knew
Till the dawn pushed us out again
Flowers grew around our patio
Pushed up against a city jet black gang
Dog song, and tattoo death
Bullets police and thieves wouldn’t keep us in
Cadavers tortured under hollow cursed bridges
Of whores and glue sniffers
And toxic garbage from the leaking walls behind us
The children played hide and seek in the folds of
Mama’s skirt local as the beggar kissed her own
As the tilted buses bore me forward through
Those streets of deathly love
The strangulation of flowing blood carpeted
The bedroom attire at sunrise bellowing
Noontime meals with 13 at the table
Children born in houses by church midwives
Squeaky nocuous shots of floor soap and squeaky clean
Toes pitter patter across, to a ringing door bell from hell
“Give me the children” He said pointing the gun at her head
She slammed the door and threw the children
Back to the back of the garage, leaving him out side
I was working and got the call
They tried to kidnap your kids;
but had the wrong house.
I had angel wings, angel eyes, and angel heart
I swear it wasn’t my whiteness that saved me
Just that I knew what I did do- was good unto others
And that protected me.
Except against you- the one I loved the most.

Appology to a friend

Rush to the flood of wings and migration, rush to the burried graves, rush to hear the singing angels above us, and the glory of the untamed days.
By and by the whithered depths came fleeing to my side, hard among the dampened glitter, a beast below its side
Towards the darkened bitter gash , my eyes turned slowly by, and fought to sunder, passed fury thunder the voice that called my name
Who , shouted I, who dare, who dare come this close, who dare step these dark demises and folly in my game?
I saw you- slight smile on your face- unscathed by death- hands- not knowing what to do- with all my old learned rage, I turned without sorrow
I turned unhurt, but stonger. If I wielded a sword- forgive me friend, said I, mine was drawn in defense, and I know you would never draw on me.

सिनोप्सिस पार्ट पीस # २

Wow the title converted to some unknown language all by itself
I hope the post is in english

Beconing , the streets meander as fellow soldiers stumble homeward
Whos thoughts breather residence , whos whisper hushes peace
Whos behavior humbles the turmoil of riddled sallow frought folk
Mumbling on solid music and perturbed kind followers
Thus in the midst of garbage and beer
Thus between the mustered beat of pleading hugging women, I saw her
Standing bold
standing turning the blissfull toil of people who did not know my age,
Who did not know my face, When there is no one, anyone becomes important
Stage two...when the street is barren
what becons you in?

stone cold, I bit it hard
thinking of you on the roadside blue
I pass circumferance of roads to aviod you numb
why couldnt you stay on that path
the lights shine no,
and pause at my passing breath
where I come from cozy and white
with snow and geaming faces
shining with the new day upon your grave
are you
bent
are you solemn in repent
are you bound for church this quiet
Sunday bells?
Here
I know not, only moving past mourning of your absence
and that though little
, who else saw, shut down
used to the bloodhed
used to the widows, used to the plight for aid
used to the pease help the family of this victim of its own demise
so... much warmer in this house
so much quieter breathing like this mouse
sminling at me in its dreams, '
no pain, no frightned delerverance from gain
hold its hand and walk along
your song
all gone night unto day.

Ice upon my lips, the fragile deer in the front snow covered lawn
past midnight, is my folly your play, is my taught surrender your beguiled horizon of rummor
Do I make shift the guiet surrender of your pausing hostility
Freed, I breathe in , I whisper to myself, I wonder if this night will become who I thought I was
Is this chaos my fortune, is this rapture my destiny
Is this forfiegth my becomming
Is this teeter taughter your voice overcoming my indignance
My ignorance of the world
Do you flood the floors of dancers?
Do you caress the minds of the hestitant
I embrace my child , wrapped in the balankets I left behind,
She sighns and moves here beside me, soft and sleeping
I thus also turn my drunken heart to meet her
Meet the clouds that hold me
Keep the thoughts that surround me
Keep these draughts of stories for this white sleepy night is calling me home to angels
caling me onto tomorrow, calling me onto my one and only, and my
cumbersome gleaming morning, of horses breath and hay filled wheels.